(Originally posted on 4/27/2016)
Kindness above all else.
What does this look like?
Where does it start?
It starts with the self. It starts with healing your own heart. Our hearts are so damaged by the thoughts we have about ourselves. They are damaged by the images of perfection we see in the media of our society. They are damaged by the feelings of unworthiness for not achieving this image of perfection. Our hearts are damaged by the offense we take from the action and words of others. Our hearts are damaged by the words and thoughts of unworthiness we have for others.
This all boils down to judgment.
We have an almost unyielding desire to judge everything and everyone.
This can sometimes create the drive to better the self, but the underlying sense of unworthiness still is there, eating away at our minds and hearts. Generating a ever present unconscious loop of thoughts in our minds. Thoughts generally judging ourselves as unworthy, unlovable, ugly, fat, stupid, or any variation on that.
This has an affect on our hearts. It damages them, causing us to miss the beauty in the world, in the people there, in ourselves. We begin to tear all of it down with judgment, unkind words and actions, war.
We miss out on the ability and the possibilities of sharing in the abundance with our neighbors. We create lack in order to control the abundance for ourselves, to insure that we can provide enough for our families or our nations. We fight over them. We hurl insults and distrust at others because they are different than us.
We create social policies to keep the differences in place and out of sight of society. If you are not the same as me, you are an enemy and I don’t trust you. So you must be bad.
We don’t trust ourselves really.
We don’t trust our own abilities to navigate through all of the difference in the world collaborate with them, be in allowance for them. Those people might change us.
Know this: change is something we allow or not.
We won’t understand everyone. We won’t understand their choices, thoughts, actions, looks, motivations, etc… until we walk in their shoes. Until we live their lives, see what has influenced them to create their realities.
We come into this world with kindness part of who we are. Everything in life then works on us to condition us to be selective with where and when to be kind.
So how about we get back to the self?
Kindness above all else.
This starts with ourselves.
You have made mistakes.
I have made mistakes.
Good. We are living life! It is going to happen.
Using them as a guide is one thing. Using them as a means to flog yourself with unkind thoughts of your unworthiness is damaging you. Each one of those little thoughts adds up and over time creates a wear pattern, a rut, creates a row of dominoes falling down. Removing you from the present moment and the beauty it has to offer. The people that are there in the moment now have to be torn down, judged for their differences in order to match or bring down below that vibratory pattern your heart is at.
So it starts with you. It starts with you being in allowance for you. It starts with you loving you for who you are.
Everything you are!
Everywhere you are.
You don’t look like, act like, think like, and live exactly like anyone else on this planet.
Ever. And this is a good thing!
It creates the space for growth and learning. Each one of us is having a unique experience if we allow for it. Sharing in the beauty of it is what creates the growth and fun.
So kindness for ourselves; how do we do that?
First come to the knowing that you are unique, beautiful, amazing, and wonderful as you are. When thoughts of the contrary pop up, take a moment with them, see why they are there, use this for any guidance you require, and then replace those thoughts with the ones in the first sentence.
It will work! Just like anything else in your life that you have learned to do, before it became second nature, it was requires that you consciously follow steps to recreate the pattern right? Once you got it, it just happened kind of in the background of things right?
These thoughts and the habit of them create the reality you see and attract into your life.
So as you see the beauty in yourself, so shall you see the beauty in the world. It is a fact that like energy attracts like energy. So the energy you are radiating out into the world through your heart is what is creating what it is that you see in front of you.
This has an effect outside the self as well. The people who are kind to themselves, are kind to others, and the ripple goes out from the exponentially.
Second thing to do in striving for kindness for yourself:
Cut yourself slack!
When you make mistakes, when you make choices that lead you into places that don’t suit you, cut yourself slack for not being perfect.
Cut yourself slack when you don’t measure up to others, when you don’t make expectations.
The way out of all of this is through the kindness for you. You will not see the solution to anything within the problem, or by beating yourself up for these missteps.
Think of it how Miles Davis thought of wrong notes:
“It’s not the note you play that is the wrong note – it’s the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.”
Maybe that “misstep” is your way of navigating the situation. By judging it as different or wrong creates the misstep next because you judged yourself as being wrong.
Give yourself slack and allowance for the way you do things different.
This will be the quickest way to allowance for how everyone does things differently.
Kindness above all else.